July 2012
1 post
When do you give things up ? I just find it hard when I feel trapped. I feel like he doesn’t get me and he never will.. In a way I feel like his judging me for doing things differently. The thing is, him judging my hair or clothes choice is him judge in the real me. The real me is scared to come out because of what his going to say. When we were broken up and I wore a bindi to go and...
April 2012
2 posts
Love kept me awake that night.
It’s fine not being able to love. It’s not fine to stop others loving you though.
That night puppets were made, they told many stories of love and enchantment. The way that love matched people together and kept them there like hands and soap. Voices of reason were heard “You can love if you try, when it...
The thought of Love is keeping me awake.
I finished watching ‘Paper Heart’.
It made me want to love Jarred forever. In a weird way, it showed me that some people don’t find love easily. They find it hard to keep it…. to let people in. I’m blessed to have my ying. At this age no-one has anything to stand for anymore. I want to make something for myself, make something of my life. I want to do it all with him...
March 2012
1 post
Today I knew what was going to write.
I was going to write about ‘imitating other people’s love imprint’. I was going to talk about it being okay, if your head doesn’t fit perfectly in that gap between his shoulder and neck. It’s okay if you don’t take the cutest pictures. It’s okay if you don’t eat,live and breath the same things. I decided not to write it. I had an amazing day with my...
October 2011
5 posts
Fill your lungs with air.
Recently I haven’t been feeling too good, mostly feeling like I’m not good enough.
But just when you’re getting to that point of giving up or about to drown in despair, for me God just whisperes his small voice through someone, and you remember life is a blessing, to wake up each morning is a blessing. “Every breath we’re taking in, shows that God’s grace is...
2 tags
I'm saying this [Sorry] because somewhere in head...
I think it takes a decent person, to own up and say sorry.
I know that in reality, God has plan for me, and all this will fade away, but I just wonder when. I just think when am I going to be happy? When is God going to revel what I need to know to me? I just feel like I’m just here, doing nothing… just living without knowing my purpose.
I just feel terrible, awfully horrid right now. I’m not actually a person who is down all the...
"That's the kind of crap reality, of life."
I had such a great time, at my Grandpa’s 80th birthday meal. It was nice to see all my family again. However just as our family are all getting along it ends in tears as usual, typical Ingram style. But besides that I really enjoyed my time with them.
Today on the other hand, has kind of taken a turn for the worse. My mind had to actually focus on the future. I kind of realised, that...
Today, the monotonous cycle that is called my...
It has taken a beautiful turn back to God.
I told myself last night that I would wake up early and read my bible. However my lazy, more interested in watching Pineapple Express self, ignored my three alarms this morning and slipped back into my coma like state. When I finally did emerge from my dreams it was 7:40am… I am ment to leave for education at 8:30am. Even though there was a lack of...
September 2011
4 posts
Grace our fire extinguisher.
A fire burns in my belly,
It boils like a kettle, steaming allowing it’s heat to reach it’s climax.
But the grace makes me put a damp
Cloth on it, takes it out and release the heat in a cooler form.Controlled.
The fire is still there but we keep it to a minimum, with a fire extinguisher on hand. Just in case our self control slips, trips and busts his lip and in revenge decides...
3 tags
Sometimes we feel nothing.
The pit of your stomach feels lower than usual.
Your mind feels less active than usual.
You feel like you could sleep longer than usual.
Low,Low,Deep
Further and further down your emotion sink, like a child with no arm bans.
Further and further you let yourself go, not into freedom but into more bondage.
And you just stay, like your meant to be that way.
Your heart begins to gain weight...
4 tags
The girl with big hair. PT1
The bass beats through the ground like the dust being forced from a rug.The wind blew softly through the open window and forced it’s way through the white blinds that barley did their job in blocking the sun, or keeping peering eyes out. She opened her mouth slightly and mimed the beat that penetrated through the speakers that lent against her cupboards. She often wondered what it would be...
3 tags
So, my first post on my new blog
I mean, there is a expectation isn’t there ? Well I don’t think I’ll live up to it, just because I don’t feel like it right now.
Everyone sets these aim for you in your life, but its so strange because they might be so far from what you want for youself, so why try and live up to other people’s expectation when they are on a totally different page to you.
...
